My first dream of Tawnchi for this year. Oh, how I miss him so much. I feel so lonely without him. Times like this I feel so selfish and want everyone to leave me alone so I can memorize the time I spent with him.
I was having a snowball fight with ‘Rindee’ (Can you believe it? Now you really know it‘s a dream. I think I was more surprised than you. But I just couldn‘t stand there while she bombed me.) We were at a yard sale, but the items didn’t look used. Her and her kids were busy playing with huge FIRE Trucks.. And it looked like a set.
I turned around and saw the railroad tracks there by my foster parents home. I started recall the moments and then there he was. He was running towards me.. He was wearing a grey sweatshirt with a blue teddy bear on the front. He also had blue jeans on with white shoes. I was overwhelmed with emotions.. You could see he would put extra powers to his running by jumping while he ran. I looked at him when he got close to me.. YEP! IT’S HIM!! He looked around five and he still looked like me.
I let him run around and play with the fire trucks, I stood there and watched him. His hair was the same color as mine, and it was short. I just can’t express the emotions I was feeling. I wanted to cry and hold him, but I reminded myself I wouldn’t do that to him this time. This time I would let him play around me, or I would play with him, but I wouldn’t cry and hold him. It just didn’t seem fair every time I see him I would start bawling and hanging on to him…
I smiled while I watched him run around and play with his toys. We were in a Hallway and there he just wanted to run. That was his favorite thing to do, run.. He could run. (I really feel like crying.. I want so much to be with him. It hurts so badly.)
I thought if he is so much alive this time I am going to take him to Vito and show him he IS alive, and it would prove I didn’t kill him. Well, there we were at Vito’s office. He seemed agitated when we showed up. Tawnchi ran up to him and gave him a high five and hugged him. I asked Vito, “Then who did I bury if it wasn’t my son?” and I asked him some more questions in that area..
He was looking at the pictures that were taken during the autopsy. Little did he know I could see the pictures as well from the reflections behind him. And there I saw a newborn baby. And I said “That is a baby, not my son!”… I was about to become angry with him about how they conspired to make me believe my son was deceased and all this time he was placed somewhere.
Vito told me he would contact a man and he would be more than happy to clear my name of this, and he gave me a hug and told me to drop by anytime. Tawnchi stood next to me, I looked down to really have a look at him.. I ran my hand through his hair and saw his beautiful face..
