Back home...

I have been back home, by now we have 'made up' and went about our lives, all this waiting ***was it meant to be???***.  I have come home to just recuperate after my surgery and back onto living on my own.  Well that didn't happen!  CRAP!!

All this waiting around has made me calm down some and I started thinking about our relationship.  It sucks, but I just wonder if it's just like this for some people that try to leave each other.  I don't understand.  He knows, it's no hidden topic that I prefer to be single and live on my own.  You know?  I have to remember I own the other half of the problem, so I communicate with him differently.  I keep thy mouth shut when I feel like firing back.

Hellsake, waiting for my surgery is beginning to drive me nuts.  Now they're itching their head wondering what other organs they would like to dispose of.  OMGoodness, are there any real doctors out there?  So far on April first, is another consultation and tests before I get gutted.  I would think.. I would be more calmer if it was Lung Cancer... that I would understand.  But my uterus? O, just take the damn thing out already!!  I'm sick of it.

I have had no energy this week, it seems like I spent alot of my time sleeping or resting in Hubby's chair.  I was kind of on the roll with walking and exercising again.  Lately I have been exasperated beyond repair.  I can't even hop over a chain, that tired.  So Hubby helps me over so we can have a little stroll.  My hips are burning by the time we get 1/4 of the way around the block.  My arms even get tired of swinging back and forth naturally.  Insane.  Sometimes I feel like I am gonna topple over right there on site.  How embarassing would that be?

You know, this is just for now.. Maybe once after the surgery I will be me again.  If not, I am gonna fight my way back up and graciously die. 

Enough of the pity party.  Grandson has been wonderful.  He even does chores without being asked.  It is kinda funny watching him in the morning.  He looks so ADULTlike, he whips out the vacuum and vacuums the whole house.  Gets a broom and sweeps, then he gets all the garbage cans together dumps them into HEFTY bag, takes it outside.  Comes back in and gets ready for homeschooling.  In the meantime, I am trying to catch up, ie Dishes, mopping, dusting.. you know the works.  He is such a sweetheart.  When I'm laying down, he reads his little books to me.  Of course there are times I help him with words, but he gets so thrilled he can read and it's endless.  The world is full of possibilities.

The Author of Yesterday :)